How Predictable

So you’re sayin’ we have a chance…

Tonight yet another MLS season kicks off. ESPN won’t be pulling in the casual fans -- or even all of the hard core ones -- going up against the Sweet 16 over on CBS. I’ll probably be flipping between Philly-Seattle and the Kentucky-Cornell game. At least the latter doesn’t tip until 9:30 so Andy Bernard can catch it after his show is done.

Since Mark put me on the spot, here are my predictions for how the MLS standings will play out (listed in order of finish).

Real quick: don’t forget to join our Fantasy MLS league. You have less than 12 hours.

Eastern Conference

Columbus Crew

It’s not that I’m a huge fan of the Men in Yellow, there just isn’t much else in the East. Robert Warzycha is going to have to find ways to give GBSchelotto games off here and there to rest his aging legs. The team also needs someone to fill Alejandro Moreno’s hard working boots.

Chicago Fire

I’d probably have the Fire first if they hadn’t just changed goalkeepers this past weekend. Feel bad for Jon Busch, but Andrew Dykstra does give Chicago an extra six inches. There are some questions on the back line, but the offense should be just fine with former Fulham mates (Tom) Collins John and Brian McBride reuiniting.

D.C. United

You can argue that Mark and I are homers, but again, this comes back to the East being fairly weak. Troy Perkins gives United a huge boost in goal, though he’ll have to work to organize the guys in front of him. Offense, which was an Achilles heel for Curt Onalfo in K.C., won’t be as much of a problem here with Jaime Moreno having a spectacular preseason and good depth.

Toronto FC

This is purely because of Preki on the bench. They’ll be tough at home, as always, but I don’t see them doing enough on the road to make the playoffs for the first time because I think the West is getting five teams in again. The “de’s” -- Julian de Guzman and Dwayne De Rosario -- will determine how far this side goes.

New York Red Bull

A lot of this comes down to Juan Pablo Angel’s health. If he’s healthy, Hans Backe will fashion together the back line to keep them in games. I don’t trust Bouna Coundoul in goal, and therefore I have a feeling we’ll see quite a few 4-3 and 3-2 games from Red Bull. They would get a boost if they sign a second DP this summer.

Kansas City Wizards

This might be a little hopeful for the ‘Zards, but I have a gut feeling that Davy Arnaud is going to have a career year. Jimmy Nielsen might actually be an upgrade over Kevin Hartman who last year didn’t give K.C. many points by himself, something every keeper needs to do for a successful side.

New England Revolution

I think this is the year the wheels finally fall off for Steve Nicol. With Taylor Twellman’s future up in the air and Steve Ralston gone, I don’t see where the offense comes from. Shalrie Joseph might finally earn the MVP he’s up for every year if the Revs make the playoffs, but it’s not going to be a pretty team to watch.

Philadelphia Union
Like the Revs, the Union are probably going to play a lot of 1-0 games. I just don’t trust their defense or Chris Seitz in goal as much as I trust New England’s back line and keepers. This is a long-term plan, though, and Peter Nowak will be successful in Philly.

Western Conference

Seattle Sounders

The top three in the West are pretty tight, but I like Seattle by a smidge. As long as Kasey Keller stays healthy, they should win the Supporters’ Shield. The offense can be inconsistent, but they won’t have to score more than one or two goals on most nights. It helps having the best coach in MLS history on the bench.

Real Salt Lake

It’s not that I’m rooting for the two former Dukies in charge of this team, but I like RSL a lot. Kyle Beckerman may never really crack into the National team, but he is one of the best holding midfielders in MLS at this point. They still can’t win much on the road and they don’t have a second scoring option aside from Findley so I can’t see them finishing first.

Los Angeles Galaxy

Landon Donovan will miss enough games (assuming he isn’t sold this summer, which I don’t think he will be) to knock them down to third. The back line is a mix of real young and real old. Aside from LD, I’m not sure that Edson Buddle can carry the scoring load without much help from the midfield.

Houston Dynamo

Dom Kinnear may well pass Sigi when all is said and done (and to me is the best domestic coach USSF could hire if they go that route after Bob Bradley). However, the midfield will struggle without Stu Holden and Rico Clark. Scoring will be an issue when Brian Ching is in South Africa, but Pat Onstad and the defense will keep them in most games.

Colorado Rapids

Unlike Mark, I think the CRapids have talent to support the best forward tandem in the league. As long as they don’t blow out their knees again. It’s certainly an English style team following in their manager’s lead. I do like the addition of Jeff Larentowicz in the midfield to help the aging Pablo Mastroeni.

FC Dallas

I think Dallas will be a good side this year, but without Jeff Cunningham going off like he did in the second half last year I don’t see them climbing the table. They have two above average keepers, but I wouldn’t feel too safe with either if I was a Dallas fan.

Chivas USA

I’m not expecting much out of the Goats this year. I’ve never been a Sacha Kljestan fan and Chivas is in a quandary. They need him to be one of the best midfielders in the league, but if he actually played up to his potential they would lose him for over a month for the World Cup. The only reason I don’t have them lower is because San Jose is that bad.

San Jose Earthquakes

The only saving grace for this club is having Joe Cannon in goal. Frank Yallop’s fall from grace ends in a mid-season firing.

MLS Cup

Skipping through the playoffs -- take the top five from the West and top three from the East -- I’m going with Seattle over Chicago. The sad bit is that the best two teams actually play the week before in the Western Conference final.

- Pat Walsh